Wednesday, 15 August 2007

  • One Year Anniversary

    Exactly one year ago, right about the same time as I'm typing right now, I was sitting on the connecting flight from SFO to LAX, waiting impatiently for the new world one Pacific away from home to unfold in front of my eyes. I had already passed the customs check at SFO, saw Charlie, who had been waiting there the whole morning just so that I could see a familiar face right after I landed, for a brief 10 minutes and  managed to find the right terminal to get on the plane to LA. All happened too fast for me to remember all the details, yet I could still recall the feeling as if it was just yesterday. I was nervous, excited and overwhelmed by all the doubts and expectations in my head. All I had right next to me on the plane, were Princess Ashley and my pink bag of shoes. What am I going to see? Who am I going to meet? If somehow someone had already planned my journey out for me, what would it be like? Where would I be and what would I be doing one year from now? Five years? Ten years?

    I didn't know then that I would be sitting in my cube at work in Intel, typing away on Xanga.(yes I'm slackering off). I'm in Folsom. Before this I was in Oklahoma, and before that I was struggling through finals in San Diego. One year, not too long, not too short. A lot has happened, not exactly the way it was planned, but they happened anyway.

    Princess Ashley died not too long after school started. Gone with her were all my pictures, videos, music from home. Pieces of memories of home that I hoped to keep with me forever. Well... maybe that was the problem, how long is forever? Probably too long. It once again proven that pretty things don't last, like a hot pink VAIO, or promises from a one-week affair. Makes me wonder again why I would buy a pink computer in the first place, or the promises. Either way I made a stupid mistake and I have learned my lessons, hopefully.

    Grandma passed away seven months ago. Never before that had I knew the pain of losing a family, and for a week I didn't know how to react. I hid myself in my little room and cried. I wished I could have been there when she left. I wished I could have spent more time with her before I left home. I wished I could have told her how much I loved her before I said goodbye. But we Chinese are never good at display of affections. We get too embarrassed  by the simple phrase: "I love you!" We express love through little things we do. I know grandma showed it by always making me my favorite food whenever I went back to visit. "Why are we having this again?" "Because it's Huanhuan's favorite!" grandma would say. Sometimes I wished I could have told her I didn't still like the same thing as I did when I was five, like that hot and sour fish. But it would probably hurt their feelings if I told grandma and grandpa that I had already grown up. So I never did tell her. I ate the fish everytime like it was the best thing in the world. And the truth is, it was.

    There weren't all bad things. There's also a lot for me to be thankful for: I found myself a place to live in San Diego that I call home, and a great roommate. I made new friends in school. I took Tango classes and went salsa dancing on weekends. I went to Vegas and camped out in Death Valley during Christmas. I found my biological family who live 15mins from me. I went to Oklahoma and got to play with the cutest baby Sophie. I got a summer internship in Intel. I'm learning how to drive and haven't killed anyone yet. I'm going to visit Minnesota next month...

    I wonder where would I be and what would I be doing one year from now?

  • Choose Identity

  • Give eProps (?)

  • New! You can now edit your comments for 15 minutes after submitting.

Who recommended?